Ashamed

I think of you endlessly

In the hours of the night

And always when the sun is shining

You occupy every part of my brain

All my bright places

All my creepy, shadowed halls

And all the walled off rooms and places

I am so ashamed of.

 

You slip into places

That I try so hard to hide

You know all the times

The Places

The Faces

I am so ashamed of.

 

I tried so hard

So hard to shield you

From all the things that

I despise about myself

All the chapters that

It pains me to remember

All those moments

I am so ashamed of.

 

I tried so hard to hide from you

To convince us both

That I should keep that part of myself

All of those chapters

Locked inside

Never to be seen again

All of the mistakes

I am so ashamed of.

 

I wanted to pretend it would be better for you

To not know all of those

Horrible

Terrible

Things about me

But you were adamant it seemed

Determined

To know everything that

I am so ashamed of.

 

(t.c)

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