dear record player,

the fact youre playing the only music that can make me happy is making my mood considerably better.I’m worried about tomorrow. I want to see him and hold onto him and never let go, but then i also want to yell and scream and maybe even punch him in the face. But I also want to hold onto him and kiss him and make the most of our time left but then i also want to ignore him and make him feel like he’s stranded on an icy tundra. Though i always want to talk to him. I want to cry an tell him how I feel about all of this but then i want to pretend i dont know and dont give a shit. But most of all I want to go up to him, make him sweat, make him feel even more guilt for not telling me, and throw it in his face like i did last time he did this. Yet again I always want to talk to him. People make me so conflicted.

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